Tuesday, May 30, 2006
ChoiceBUBBLES!!! BUBBLES BUBBLES BUBBLES!
Bubbles everywhere!
then...POP! POP! POP!
a handful of needles appeared and burst my euphoria.
it was supposed to be the happiest moment! it was supposed to be the easiest decision i had to make. it was supposed to be the most natural thing to do. and now it isn't. it's now the most difficult and the most confusing moment for me.
Damn it.
it was supposed to be easy.
` timed out--10:28 AM
Saturday, May 27, 2006
The Ties the Binda friend wrote a discussion on her blog on friendship which i'd like to follow up. i dont think i've written on the subject thus far, so let's take it for a whirl, and see where it brings us, shall we?
question posed: what makes a good friend? i honestly think there is no single answer to that question. why? cos everyone looks for different things in their friends. some look for companionship, some for fun, some for a person to share their souls with and some as a life-support system. it varies. i mean, dont tell me you dont share some parts of you with some friends, and other parts of you with some other friends? i like to share my ambitions with Friend A because she wont think they're silly, and family stuff with Friend B cos she's been through them too. Friend C to be bitchy with, Friend D to feel contemplative, and pretty much all friends to talk abt guys! hahaha....and i'm not saying anybody has concrete roles. most of the time they overlap. well, too much of naweera can be a dangerous thing for one person to handle! as such, i dont have just one best friend, but i kinda have a few. the thing is, i'm sure i'm not the only one. and i'm damn sure.
and does good friendship depend solely on frequency? my take is no. if it was, baby, you'd have lost a lot of friends. when we get older (damn i hate to say this, but it is true), we tend to have less time than we can help it. but it doesnt neccessarily mean relationships change. friendships can still last even u meet just once a yr. believe me. and conversations and feelings still remain.
the thing with friendship is pretty simple. i've come to believe it boils to a simple method. its pretty much
'don't think abt it'. the more you think abt how a friendship is, or where its taking you, the less likely you'll enjoy it. i say, go with the flow. you'd be surprised. if you find yourself drifting apart from a friend to a point of no return, well, remember that no friendship has losses. you've learnt a lot from that person, and it'll carry you through life. have fun along the way. and if u need to get serious, get serious. and making friends is really fun! mix and match, sometimes you dont choose, sometimes its fate. i didnt think i'd make real friends in uni cos they always say its hard, but i did. and i'm glad i did. ups and downs, roughs and smooths. all part of life, even friends arent exempt from it. yes, friends are entitled to their prickiness too! ;)
but if we do become friends forever and ever, till we're old and fat and balding, i'd like a pre-frup (alternative to a pre-nup). because there are some things our children should not know...like..er....old nicknames and stuff....right.
well, that's my take on friendship. pretty interesting. but shldnt ponder too much over. in fact, just one editorial will do. it isn't highschool friendship anymore is it? it seems that today everyone had a bit of mind of friendship. ah well, but what do i know? i'm going through it too!
well, i'm feeling pretty iffy now, now that i've checked my results. and no, i'm not happy. i'm not sad either. disappointed, yeah, for sea. and no i'm not feeling good. i'm scared, i feel undeserving, and a bloody leech! and i dont think i can go through that summer school! oh God! i'm sure i cant go through with it!!! not with this brain, no. i need to hide! hide far far way! well, that leaves with just one thing...i need to go to ALASKA...NOW!
mansi, can i borrow your jet please?
` timed out--10:23 AM
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Clubbeda little confession to be made here. last week...i went clubbing! yessiree...my actual first real-time clubbing where i didn't have to be cinderella and scoot back at 11. but yeah...it was an experience. i didn't know why i went when i knew i shouldnt and wouldnt. or told myself i wouldnt cos i convinced myself i wouldn't like it. but i think...it was to get it out of my system. to try it and know what it's like. and where better else to be than MOS?
the club, for one thing, is huge! and very pretty! and what a club should be like, in my mind. tons and tons and tons of pple, though it was a weekday. and sure its a pretty cool place with some pretty cool people here and there. i did some dancing. but mainly, i found the whole thing pretty boring. and yes! it was crowded, and cramped. and no, i didn't like moving through it. so i pretty much figured i'm not very into clubbing. the crowd, and somehow perhaps the people. sure the guys were cute. (a lot of cute guys! haha)but some girls and guys can get really....um...you know, scandalous. heee...i'm really just a geek at heart. damn my geeky upbringing! hahaha i love to lounge, go to a jazz club, listen to music, chilling, that's fine by me. my kinda thing. or maybe i've been watching too many oprah shows. feminism on the rise within. who knows? but i dont think i'll be there for some time now. nahhh.....
but what i did like was the music! and the retro room! which was cool man! haha and while i thot some guys were sleazy (mainly the mats and ah bengs *rolls eyes*), there were nice pple too. a guy actually asked me to dance which was surprising. but he didnt spoil it for me. he was very polite. and that was nice. i refused him of course. i'm that jakun. hahaha.... i sound like lee fiora, describing. but yeah, if he wasnt in a club, i would have liked to know him.
all in all, another transgression made. but i felt less guilty this time. comes with age? maybe. i seem to have a partner in crime though. seems to be always there when i'm at the scene of the crime. i dont think he saw, recognised or remembered me. it was a long time ago. but yeah. clubbing. hmmm...i went. i saw. i experienced. dont say i didnt try! hee.
` timed out--8:32 AM
Monday, May 08, 2006
Long Over Due...this is long over due but...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAM!!!!
hope your 20th was exciting and great and wonderful and delightful and crazy and fun and yummilicious and excellent and awesome and cool and.... and supercalifragelisticasphialidocious! and remember, with great age, comes greater responsibility for fun! hehe.... now i would have posted this birthday scream earlier but my computer has been nuts! *see previous post* and basically i have no internet access. i had to wrestle my bro to borrow his school lappy. sorry babe! :( but hope it was great! we shall celebrate in style soon!
incidentally of course, it was the day i had officially ended my exams too! yeessss! omigoodness! you have no idea how long i've waited man. the exams was soooo long! but yes its over! i'm doing my happy dance now! freedom! woohoo! one-half more months before i have to hit the books again! meantime, am planning to work to replenish the emptiness of my wallet. hmm..sad. i was quite accustomed to it. anyhow, plan to have fun as well, read read read...my "hitch" project *wink wink nudge nudge* and most importantly hang out with friends, both old and new. first up hidayah and dina whom i havent seen for AGES! yes...my darlings!
well, that's all i have for now! without an internet access, most likely wont be posting much. yes yes, u can stop doing the happy dance now. must be a nice break from my mindless rattling! hehehe....alrighty! signing out now!
` timed out--8:53 AM
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